What's the worst that can happen?
Isn't it about time you learnt to fly? You only have to lift your feet off the ground to fall on your arse, or----
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Just lift your feet off the ground
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Penelope Barber Clerical Supplies
PRESENT
Penelope Barber Clerical Supplies
PRESENT
The VV7 metaphysical engine
Are you tied of subjecting yourself to an all powerful deity? Would you rather spend your personal time shopping or watching football? Well with the new Vestal Vatican 7 Metaphysical Engine, replete with the new patented ‘Dogma drive’ you can. Release yourself from the tedium of daily even weekly worship.
Our VV7 Metaphysical Engine is the most efficient and compact worshiping device on the market. Built on a Swiss rosary movement the prayer wheels alone create a constant output equivalent to 11,000 Anabaptists, switch on the pharsi overdrive and the heat in the burners is equivalent to three Buddhist monks, driving the main wheels up to six thousand six hundred and sixty six revolutions, providing the intensity of a moral crusade or five jihads every thirty seven minuets. |
The VV7 Metaphysical Engine can be adapted for every denomination with the seventeen step easy to use ‘Dogma Drive’, and as such can levitate a minor profit into the rings of presence at the same time as infernolising forty infidels all of your choice. No Metaphysical Engine in history has ever been so compact, at a mere three hundred, by sixty, by forty cubits it contains all of nature, yet can be folded down into a fetching pendant, and worn with a 24 carrot plated gift chain we provide free as part of the package if you buy within the next seven days.
Penelope Barber Clerical Supplies Providing all your worshiping needs |
Penelope Barber Clerical Supplies have won Simon Temple’s money changer award three times in he last five years.